


long live the magic we made

by leatherandlace



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, but don't worry, nat isn't actually dead, there is no happiness to be found her, watch black widow (2020)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 11:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20470292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leatherandlace/pseuds/leatherandlace
Summary: “Can you take a momentPromise me this:That you’ll stand by me foreverBut if God forbid fate should step inAnd force us into a goodbyeIf you have children somedayWhen they point to the picturesPlease tell them my name.”





	long live the magic we made

**Author's Note:**

> title and song lyrics from long live by taylor swift, which sent me spiraling and into the google docs to write this. i promise i'll write happy stuff soon. probably.
> 
> follow me on my marvel stan twitter: @pinkjacquelyn
> 
> sorry.

_ “Can you take a moment _

_ Promise me this: _

_ That you’ll stand by me forever _

_ But if God forbid fate should step in _

_ And force us into a goodbye _

_ If you have children someday _

_ When they point to the pictures _

_ Please tell them my name.” _

  
  


_ “The last five years I’ve been trying to do one thing. Get right here. That’s all it’s been about, bringing everyone back.” _

  
  


_ Everyone _ . Everyone, the word ringing through her mind, whipping around her like the cold breeze on top of the cliff, cutting straight through her. Bringing everyone back. Everyone. Everyone. Everyone. Maria. Maria. Bringing Maria back. Bring Maria back.

  
  


She didn’t think it’d be like this. 

  
  


She thought she’d see Maria again, thought she’d be able to feel Maria in her arms once more, to see those blue eyes, to run her fingers through Maria’s hair, listen to Maria playing guitar at 3AM like they always used to do, breathe her in, lay down with her, remember how it felt like to love someone and be loved when she never thought it would be possible. She thought it would end happy, maybe for once it could end  _ happy _ . 

  
  


She should’ve known that  _ whatever it takes _ meant a hell of a lot more than a happy ending.

  
  


If she didn’t do this, billions of people would die. And in those billions, her family, her friends, her life--Wanda and Sam and  _ Peter _ . And Maria. She couldn’t stand here on this cliff and let the man beside her throw his life away when he had a family to get back to. There was red on her ledger, there was red, there was red, she needed to wipe it out.

  
  


Maria would be okay. Maria was smart, and beautiful, and so capable of love...she’d find someone else. She’d be okay. 

  
  


The thought of what Nat wanted her future to be brought stinging tears in the cold of Vormir. 

  
  


No one had ever accepted, believed in, loved Nat like Maria did--no one else could even be capable of it. Maria was fierce, powerful, yet soft, beautiful, wonderful, unparalleled by any woman Nat had ever known or would ever know. She was beauty and grace in everything she did, when she smiled at Nat across one of Tony’s parties, a drink in her hands and quips spilling from her lips, when she brought Nat coffee in bed, surveying the little family the two of them made up and smiling when she thought Nat wasn’t watching (but she was, she always was). And the side of Maria only Nat could see, the one that kissed Nat like the world depended on it, that let her love show and shine through whatever she could possibly transcribe in her hands and lips and eyes and words, who gave Nat everything she could have ever wanted, who would let Nat lay her head on her shoulder and eye her lips in silent questions that Maria would always answer.

  
  


Nat would’ve given her everything. She would have married Maria one day, would have let Maria  _ finally  _ propose to her in nothing but a field of flowers, she would have kissed her and Maria would tuck a rose behind her ear and wipe away Nat’s tears as she nodded yes, yes, yes. Maria would have watched her walk down the aisle one day in a stunning white, and she would look at her with that stunning smile. She would’ve been a mother alongside Maria, would have made a family with her, would’ve erased years of pain and built something new. She would have held Maria every day for the rest of her life, would have done everything in her power to make her happy until the moment they died, except that would have come decades from now, and they would have been together, died together, after doing everything they had ever wanted to do.

  
  


That future was the only one Nat could wrap her head around, not one without Maria, without doing whatever it takes. 

  
  


Maria deserved that life. 

  
  


And Nat hoped,  _ prayed _ , while she fought Clint and fought through the pain and the cold and the anguish, while she stared down that miles long drop, that Maria would get that life. Hoped that one day Maria would be sitting on the couch with her children, happy, looking at old pictures, and she’d tell them her name. 

  
  


_ (Let me go.) _

  
  


She hoped Maria would be happy. She hoped this worked. She  _ hoped _ .

  
  


_ (It’s okay.) _

  
  



End file.
